Celebrating your own life
You may have come across my page because you’re thinking ahead to your own funeral, which I truly respect. This could be because you've received some difficult news and want to ensure everything is in place to ease the burden on your loved ones. Alternatively, it might be because you’ve realised that, as the person who knows you best, you want to make sure your loved ones have a clear guide to honouring your life in the way you would want.
This page is designed to help you plan ahead and create a service that reflects your life and personality, ensuring everything is exactly as you’d like it. I offer a bespoke service where we can work together to create a ceremony that is meaningful and personal. Planning in advance gives you the peace of mind that your wishes will be respected, and it’s a wonderful gift to your loved ones.
For more general information on funeral and memorial planning, including options like burial or cremation, the differences between funerals and memorial services, and ideas for venues, please check out my Funerals & Memorials page.
What Do You Want in Your Ceremony?
Readings
You may want to suggest some readings or poems that reflect your personality, interests, or beliefs. A quick Google search will give you plenty of ideas, but I can work with you to tailor any of these so they feel even more personal. If you’d like, we can even commission a custom poem just for you.
Typically, one or two readings are enough, unless you're planning a longer service. It might be helpful for your loved ones or the celebrant to know if there are any poems or readings that have special meaning to you. These could include a piece from your wedding, something from a loved one, a poem you learned as a child, a reading from your parents’ funeral, or even a line from something you performed in your younger years.
It can also be comforting to choose readings that offer support to your loved ones. They can be woven into the ceremony and help shape its final wording, making the service more personal and meaningful for everyone.
Tribute (Eulogy)
One of the most challenging aspects for those delivering a tribute is knowing your full story. A tribute doesn’t have to be an exhaustive life history, but it’s natural that the person giving it will want to capture all the important moments and avoid missing anything significant.
I can help make this process easier and ensure the tribute truly reflects your life in a meaningful way.
If it helps, I can provide a questionnaire to help you start gathering your ideas before we meet. Some people prefer to just chat, and I can help piece everything together from there. We can also create a chronology of your life, highlighting the moments and events that you’d like remembered. This could include anything from major milestones to smaller, personal details or funny stories. If a family member or friend is delivering the eulogy, they can use this to ensure they don’t miss anything important.
Alternatively, we can write the entire eulogy together. I’ll take all the information you provide and craft it into a fitting tribute to your life. Once I’ve written it, you’ll have the chance to read it, make comments, and suggest any changes. This way, you can be sure the final version is exactly how you want it – and it will be the text that’s left for your loved ones to honour your memory.
Music
You might be someone who’s passionate about music and has a whole playlist of songs you want to include in the ceremony – or maybe you’ve got a list ready for the wake! Perhaps you want to include sound effects that represent your hobbies or passions. On the other hand, you might prefer no music at all, and that’s perfectly fine too. Whatever your preference, the ceremony should reflect what feels right for you.
Typically, the music chosen for the entrance is often quieter and more reflective, while the music at the end is often uplifting. However, there are no strict rules – it's all about what resonates with you and what feels appropriate for the occasion.
In addition to the usual pieces, you might want to include one or two other songs, depending on the time available. For example, music could accompany a slideshow of your life, or it could be used to give mourners a moment to reflect on your life and the memories you’ve shared.
If hymns are important to you, we can discuss how best to incorporate them into the ceremony in a way that’s meaningful. Whatever music or sound elements you choose, it’s all about ensuring the service is a true reflection of your personality and preferences.
Photos
Your loved ones may already have a collection of photos they'd like to include in a slideshow, but you can also take the opportunity to gather a selection of your own photos that you feel best represent your life, your passions, and the memories you want to share. These photos can be used during the service itself, or displayed at the wake or reception, giving everyone a chance to reflect on your life and celebrate the special moments.
Typically, it takes around 25 photos to accompany a piece of music in a slideshow, allowing for a smooth flow that complements the atmosphere of the ceremony. You might want to choose photos from various stages of your life – from childhood through to your adult years, showcasing your hobbies, family, friends, travel, and any milestones you’re especially proud of.
The images can be a beautiful way to tell your story visually, adding a personal touch to the ceremony. If you want, I can help guide you through the process of selecting and organising these photos, ensuring they work well with the music and overall flow of the service.
Other Elements
There are many other meaningful elements we can incorporate into your ceremony to make it truly reflective of your life and wishes. If you have any specific requests or ideas you’d like to include, we can discuss them in detail when we meet. This could be anything from the atmosphere you want to create, to how you envision the final farewell.
For example, you might want to include symbolic gestures such as lighting candles or using flowers to convey particular sentiments. You could also consider allowing mourners the opportunity to write messages to be placed with your coffin, creating a heartfelt connection between your loved ones and your final moments.
Another beautiful way to personalise the ceremony is by leaving a video or audio message. Whether it’s a final message from you or the audio accompanying a slideshow of your life, this can offer a deeply emotional and personal touch. Some people choose to give their mourners a keepsake, something to hold onto as a lasting memory, such as a small token or personalised item.
Additionally, you might want to consider details like your attire or the dress code for your mourners. Do you have specific instructions for what you’d like to wear in the coffin? Or would you like your loved ones to wear a particular colour or type of clothing to honour you in a meaningful way? These are just a few options we can explore together to make your ceremony truly personal and memorable.